Let’s Be Honest About Lying

“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” (Exodus 20:16)

I read a funny story the other day about a child who had the habit of telling lies. Not only did he tell lies he told whoppers! One morning he got up and his mother said, “Did you sleep well last night?” He said, “Well, actually No.” He said, “In the middle of the night a flying saucer landed in the backyard and I went out to investigate. They let me fly in their flying saucer and we flew to Mars and then to Venus and then to Pluto and then we came back home before breakfast.” His mother said, “Did you really do that?” “Oh I really did, Mama!” Finally, she had had all she could take with her son lying. So, she called the pastor. She said, “Pastor, I want you to talk to my son because all he does is tell lies, lies, lies! Maybe you can help him because I can’t!” So, they took him down to the pastor’s office and the pastor said, “Now, son. What did you tell your mother happened last night?” He told the pastor about his trip to Mars and Venus and Pluto. The pastor said, “Son, did that really happen?” He said, “Yes, pastor. It really happened!” The pastor thought he would he would tell a lie that was even bigger and more of a whopper than that little boy’s lie to show him how ridiculous his story was. He said, “Why, son. I believe you! It kind of reminds me of the time I was preaching in this church up in the mountains and right in the middle of my sermon, a big old two-ton grizzly bear tore the back doors off that church. That bear came roaring into that church and he went up one pew and down the next pew and he ate up every single person in that church! Nobody was left but me and that big old bear was up there facing me and before that bear jumped on me a little dog ran in from the side door and ate that bear all up!” The pastor said, “Now son do you believe that story?” The little boy’s eyes were as big as baseballs and he said, “I sure do, pastor. That was probably my dog!”

Be honest now, do you tell the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth? If you said yes to both of these questions, chances are, you’re lying. How many of us lie? As of 2:03 PM on Thursday, March 5, 2009 the number stands at 305,946,876. That’s the number of people in the United States over the age of three at that hour - in other words, everybody in America mature enough to communicate verbally. How often do we lie? If we can believe the statistics, information at the 2000 Census Web site and the Bureau of Labor Statistics suggests that most people lie once or twice a day and intentionally deceive more than 30 people every week. College students are said to lie in 50 percent of the conversations with their parents. One hundred percent of dating couples surveyed fessed-up to fibbing to each other in a third of their conversations. According to the IRS, more than 10 million people lie on their tax forms. Surveys also tell us we are lied to more than 200 times every day. In a now well-known experiment at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst psychologist, Robert Feldman had people carry hidden video cameras and record their conversations with strangers over a couple of days. Watching the tapes later, the men and women tallied their own deceptions. Sixty percent of the participants discovered an average fib rate of three lies for every 10 minutes of conversation.

We live in a society where lying is considered normal, acceptable and sometimes necessary. I’ve heard it said that “numbers don’t lie.” But from what I can tell, many people in the banking industry must never have been taught that little parable as yet. It would seem to me that little tidbit ought to be included as mandatory training for anyone receiving benefit from our tax dollars in the stimulus package. (Can I get an AMEN?)

Why do we lie? We lie to impress people. We drop names of people we barely know in order to gain social standing. Sometimes we lie to please people. Have you ever agreed with a person who has a strong personality just to avoid a confrontation? Later we find ourselves regretting that we agreed with a position that we know will bring negative consequences. Sometimes we lie to get revenge. Someone hurts us and so we trump up a story or rumor or a half-truth just to get back at them for wronging us knowing it will likely damage their reputation or at least bring some empathy our way. We lie to make a profit. “Nobody beats our prices! Of course we’ll stand behind the warranty!” We lie to escape punishment. “My speedometer must be malfunctioning officer.” Sometimes we lie just for convenience sake. “Yes I did call in sick this morning but I felt much better in the afternoon. That’s why you saw me at the golf course.”

Lying has several relatives which attempt to pass themselves off as more respectable members of the family such as: Exaggeration -“You killed me when you said that!” Distortion - “What I said was mostly true.” Lies of Omission – “I did go to Jimmy’s house. I just forgot to tell you we went to the mall also.” Little white lies - “Yes, that dress does look lovely on you.” Doublespeak – Listen to just about any politician when asked a direct question for an example. Regardless of what it’s called, a half-truth is always a whole lie and needs to be avoided as we relate to others.

Why should we always tell the truth? Every time you are caught lying it draws your credibility in question and requires trust to be re-earned. Not only that, God asks us to be truth-tellers because it is intrinsic to His own nature. Our God is a God of truth and he expects his followers to reflect His character in our daily lives. Telling the truth is a way of communicating to the world the nature of our God. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life.” If you claim the name of Christian, you must be committed to the truth. Lying can become a pattern in your life that is very difficult to break but it can be broken. How can we overcome lying?

* Love the truth. This requires a heart change. In Psalm 51 King David says, “Surely you desire truth in the inner parts, you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” David is saying truth-telling requires an inward change in values. If you love the truth, you will speak the truth.

* Learn the truth. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8) Saturate your mind with good things, like the Word of God. So much of what we have accepted as truth from the world needs to be unlearned and replaced with the truth of the Bible.

* Live the truth. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (Ephesians 4:25) Be accountable to others. Be open to others stopping you when you speak something less than the truth. Immediate confess, immediately correct, and immediately commit yourself to the truth.

Don’t take lying lightly. Every time you tell a lie, be it a little white one, a medium size grey one or a big fat black one, it contributes to the hold that deception has on your life. Be honest about lying and decide to break free today.

Live the Victorious Life,

PT